Afraid of the world she refused to see.
Afraid to make mistakes.
Afraid of love.
Afraid of not being perfect.
Afraid of losing herself...
But there comes a time in every person's life where you just have to let go. As hard as it is, sometimes you have to let go of the person you think you are in order to let the person you really are come through. But who was she?
She was a perfect little Mormon girl, that's who.
She went to church every Sunday.
She dressed the way everyone wanted her to.
She spoke the way everyone wanted her to.
She acted the way everyone wanted her to...
And that was her problem. She was so busy trying to please everyone around her, that she completely ignored what she wanted. Let me tell you, realizing that the person you thought you were, was never the person you wanted to be, is a tough pill to swallow. So where does that leave her now?
Still afraid.
Confused.
Helpless.
Naive.
Vulnerable.
Alone...
She was at a crossroad. There was the trail which would lead right back to the life she left behind. The life she had struggled for years to conform to. To be happy in. The one she would kill to forget.
And then there was the new life she had discovered. One that was filled with sex, drugs, and lies. A lifestyle she was having fun with, but couldn't help but feel weary of the road she was going down. It was a world she had never been exposed to before. Scary, but exhilarating all at the same time.
But which girl would she choose? Which girl would I choose?
The road to self-discovery is a scary one. Filled with speed bumps, twists and turns, steep hills, and dead ends.
I'm not sure where my life will take me. But I'm on my way to finding out.
